Places I just don't go to anymore

Today I had to take Steve for a blood test. Which meant I had to go somewhere that I went to a lot until the beginning of September last year but haven't been to since. The lab in Melle is where Isi used to have regular blood tests - usually weekly, occasionally monthly, sometimes several times a week. And it was always me who took her. Always. This is the first time Steve has ever been there and it is the first time I have been since Isi died. And it was hard - all the people who work there knew Isi having regularly poked needles into her for years. I tried to just stay invisible in the waiting room, but they recognised Steve's surname and asked him if he was Isi's dad. We just about got out of there before we started crying, but it was close.

So, it brought back memories of all the times me and Isi used to go there. Actually we shouldn't have even had to go there in theory - Isi had a prescription to have a nurse visit her at home to take the blood samples. The local nurse came once, looked at Isi and told me in no uncertain terms she was NOT going to do that as it was too hard for her. So, off to the lab we went for the start of what would be hundreds of blood tests over her lifetime.

After a few weeks we got into the routine. She would eschew the local anaesthetic patches that she was supposed to put on her arm (she didn't like having them there for the necessary hour beforehand), and we would make sure we always got the same person to do the test. That person (and her successor) I will always be grateful to as they managed to do it both calmly and quickly, thus provoking the absolute minimum of tears (and often none at all). Then, when it was all done, we would make a game of running away and pretend we were never coming back, although we always knew we would be back all too soon. Finally, she would spend the fifteen minute journey back home asking me several times if we could take the plaster off when we got home and as soon as we were through the door it was coat and plaster off and normality was resumed!

Now, I don't have a picture of Isi having blood samples taken (it's just not the sort of thing you feel you should whip your camera out for!) but I do have this picture. This is the magnolia tree that sits in the centre of the lab's tiny car park that we usually had to manoeuvre around, but one day it just looked so lovely that I took a picture. I wish now that Isi was in the picture too but some things can't be undone.

This is just one of the places that I just don't go to anymore.