My sister lives on the mantlepiece

Odd title? Not really as it's the title of a book I have just finished reading by Annabel Pitcher. Firstly, I think it's an excellent book. We bought it with the intention of giving it to Isi's sisters to read as it's written from a young child's point of view about the death of his sister. Well, we (me and Steve) decided to read it first to check it out. It's beautifully written but I don't want to implant in their heads that daddy is going to become an alcoholic and I'm going to run off with someone called Nigel, so we may not pass it on!

Anyway, I was thinking of her sisters, and how life has changed for them.

So here is one of my favourite pictures of the three of them.

This was taken in Parthenay at the annual games festival held each July. By the way, it's a great fun event - dedicated to play, they line the streets and the main square with board games and bouncy castles and stuff. What's not to like as far as the kids are concerned!

It's just a snapshot but it really shows the dynamics of their relationship at the time. Alex is in the background, looking quietly appalled as only a bored teenager can do (Alex has been a teenager since about age 8!). Rachael is next, bigger in the picture and acting the comedienne as she so often did (and still does) to get attention. And then there's Isi, the focus of the picture, mouth open as she chatted away to me.

Isi was a demanding girl. Her illness meant that much of my time and attention was taken up with dealing with that - the trips to hospital, physiotherapy, the feeding tube that she had for 2 years, and a load of other things. Then, by sheer force of personality she also demanded (and got) much of my attention. I don't know if it was to make up for not being able to see but she talked all the time, even in her sleep. Then there was the fact that some things took so much longer for her to learn and other things I still had to do for her that I didn't with her sisters at the same age.

Now, I have more time to spend with her sisters. I know they appreciate that but in many ways I resent it. Not because I don't want to spend time with them, far from it. It's more that I worry whether they think it's better now that their sister 'lives on the mantlepiece'.