To sleep, perchance to dream

Today it has been five months since we lost Isi and all I have wanted to do today is sleep the day away. I know it's because of the date but I also know that tomorrow will be much the same. I stopped dreaming for a while after Isi died, well probably not true, but I stopped remembering my dreams at least. But now, they are back and how. My dreams usually are more bizzare and stranger than before (keeping cats in the fridge anyone?!).

But I had a dream recently which involved Isi which was the strangest of all because it was so normal. It was just me and Isi doing stuff, but it wasn't a memory. It was more like a melange of memories - we were at the hospital but cooking a meal (not possible there) and playing with things that we never took to the hospital. And when I woke up, it was the strangest feeling - because it was so normal it felt like extra time so to speak - that perhaps these things had happened and I had had more time with her, even if just one night. It was sad, comforting, unreal and yet so full of emotion. I wonder if my desire to sleep so much is a need to recapture that dream and that feeling, or whether I am just so tired.

Well. I thought of this photo and it made me wonder what Isi may have been dreaming of (and Rachael too!). I'll never know now but I hope it was good.